Here at The Body Camp in Ibiza, we coach our clients that one of the key components to personal growth and development is learning certain habits and behaviors, which develop and improve mental toughness – for improved decision making in life.
The hallmarks of mentally strong people are very often real strategies that you can begin using today. Here are five of the hallmarks of emotionally tough people:
Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them. Moments that test your mental toughness are ultimately testing your emotional intelligence (EQ). Unlike your IQ, which is fixed, your EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with understanding and effort. It’s no wonder that 90 percent of top performers have high EQs.
“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford. Mentally tough people subscribe to Ford’s notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. This notion isn’t just a motivational tool – it’s a fact. A recent study at the University of Melbourne showed that confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others did. True confidence – as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities – has a look all its own. Mentally tough people have an upper hand over the doubtful because their confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.
Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. Mentally tough people control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find common ground and solutions to problems. Even when things completely derail, mentally tough people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
Mentally tough people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur. Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize, and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates. You’re bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have done in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result!
Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout and even depression. Mentally tough people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem and foresight to make their ‘nos’ clear.
When it’s time to say no, mentally tough people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. The mentally tough also know how to exert self-control by saying no to themselves. They delay gratification and avoid impulsive action that causes harm.
Rick Parcell, Master Coach
