FLASHBACK TO 2004
ME: Remember that time you got me in your hot tub and made me feel incredibly uncomfortable at your after party for two?
Oscar winner: Huh?
ME: Yeah, a few years back now. I remember it well: driving home, shaken and with my clothes clinging to my wet skin and wondering how I was going to explain to my BF that my hair was wet. I mean, I’d only gone to an industry mixer.
To be honest I should’ve reported your ass, but felt like a fool that I’d even let you get me into that position. The lure that you were an award-winning producer, the possibilities in that, and that I’d never seen an Oscar in real life, let alone hold one. You told me there would be other guests arriving later. I’m so sure that there were others after me…. and a lot younger too, who probably weren’t strong-willed enough to leave. I’ve seen you around town since and you definitely have a craving for the young.
I told my manager at the time (a gay manager,) who responded with “Well done for meeting the velvet Mafia, just a few more of these meetings and you’ll be a star.”
I thought he was joking.
A few years after, I came to think of the incident as funny, so much so I even wrote that scene in a movie. But you know what? Now I realize it’s not funny. It’s never funny.
Someone recently commented “but isn’t that always been the way? The casting couch? Isn’t that how Hollywood works?” And he was being serious. He actually thought that every actor or actress at some point in their life has had to give it up in order to get a role.
WOW!
Fortunately things change. Welcome to the new era of Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen where NO, it’s not okay. Not okay to treat those who work for you with utter disregard and disrespect. Almost on a daily basis it seems like men in positions of authority are being exposed for abusing their power, either sexually or verbally. And men are now on tenterhooks.
So here’s the dilemma: Let’s say a male boss fired a female employee six years ago. And said disgruntled employee fabricates a lie about the male boss and he is publicly accused. The male boss is fired because the company is losing business. But yet none of the accusation(s) are true.
Although it’s a sign of progress that the guilty are finally being held to account, it opens a whole pandora’s box of other issues about where do we draw the line, if every accusation is to be considered true and every ‘offender’ considered guilty until proven innocent? Sadly, although many guilty men will now be held to account, other innocents will be tainted by fake accusations by disgruntled employees or Hollywood hopefuls who offered sexual favors and were rebuffed.
The bottom line is that abuse is abuse and it’s never okay. But messing with someone’s livelihood because they wouldn’t hire you isn’t right either. I hope fewer stories come out over the next months and Hollywood takes a long hard look at itsself and is able to distinguish fact from fiction. That may be wishful thinking but a very good start would be an initiative to hire more women for the big jobs.
On a lighter note everyone at BiLA would like to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and we hope to see some of you at one of our upcoming events. Stay strong and happy turkey day to you all.
Cheers!
Craig Young
